TYRANNICAL CHECKLIST UNJUSTLY CRUEL TO KIDS
I am not a parenting expert nor am I engrossed in parenting. I have learned and evolved by observing my two children, their friends and teachers. There is a certain style of parenting prevailing these days, which jumbles up children and impedes their capability to evolve on their own. Most of the parents devote a lot of time and are very concerned about their children. On the other end, some parents do not adequately involve themselves with their children's lives, education and upbringing. Subsequently at the other side of the spectrum, there is a lot of negativity and apprehension in parent’s minds.
Further parents presume their children cannot be successful unless they protect and involve themselves in every role. Hence start hovering like a helicopter in each and every happening and micromanaging every moment of children's life. Negatively, steering children’s career towards tiny subset molding and unknowingly parents have the tendencies of steering in check listed childhood.
This encompasses safety, sound mind, nourishment, right and good grades in schools. Simultaneously, not only grades and high scores, accolades and awards in sports and other extracurricular activities, importantly parents want their wards to inculcate leadership traits. Most of the parents expect a certain degree of perfection from their kids, picturize their unfulfilled ambition or dreams on their children. Thereupon, parents presume that this is perfect parenting.
Most parents expect their kids to precisely perform towards perfection. Importantly without second thought parents argue with teachers, principal, coach and referee and behave like doorkeepers. Obviously, children are precious, further parents waste so much time in cajoling, comparing, nudging, hinting, helping, haggling, lamenting and nagging as per the circumstances. Parents presume that they are not screwing up children's future, not closing doors and not ruining their future, these actions are manifestations of check listed childhood.
SELFISH HUMAN NATURE
The selfish human nature in parents is when children return home from school, the first question raised on them is about homework and grades. Unfortunately, the children see in our faces for our approval, our love and compassion and understand their worth. This meticulous incitement is in jeopardy.
By and large over assistance, over protection, over direction and over hand-holding of children, one deprives their kids from being self-reliant, which is the basic tenet of the human psyche. Importantly, self-reliance is more significant than self-esteem for which we applaud, without understanding the degree of self-reliance. The Self-reliant foundation put on children will showcase their action to realize the outcomes.
If children are to be self-reliant then they must be given liberty to think, plan, decide, do things on their own, hoping, coping, trial and error, dreaming and experiencing life they have traveled through. Undoubtedly, each and every kid is hard-working, self-motivated and children do not need unwanted parent’s interference, involvement, or interest in their lives. Merely by possessing money or being violent, parents cannot glide their children towards success.
Negatively, parents consider grades, scores, accolades and awards as the purpose of children's existence. Subsequently to admit them in renowned higher education institutions is the soul motto which is the curse on mankind. Then I am extremely sorry to pronounce this narrow definition of presumed success of children by failed parents.
Parents might facilitate their children to achieve some short-term goals by over assisting to obtain better grades and help them complete their homework. When parents help the children they might end up with a lengthier childhood resume. Unquestionably, the long-term repercussion is children losing their sense of self.
Fortunately, one must be more concerned about children’s habits, mindset, skill set and wellness, furthermore be successful wherever their livelihood leads. Obviously, the children must inculcate traits of handling their life’s challenges on their own and be less obsessed with grades and scores. All the stakeholders must provide children a firm foundation to attain success built on love and chores.
The professional success in our children's life is the only parameter we expect from our kids, unknowingly making a benchmark to assess their life. Obviously, professional success is attained by coping up with prevalent pressure and competition. All the stakeholders must roll-up-sleeves and change their mindset, to make our children's life better.
Moreover, a child brought up on the basis check listed childhood, one absolves their decision making capabilities and impedes them from developing as a good decision maker.
Moreover, these young adults in the workplace still linger for a checklist. Unquestionably, when the checklist does not exist they lack the impulse, the instinct to roll up and wonder. Undoubtedly, how a checklist youngster can be beneficial to an organization or colleague or society as whole. The happiness in life comes from love and this transcends to love of work, humans, spouse, partner, friends and family.
Hence, in children’s childhood one needs to teach kids how to love one another, they cannot love others if they do not first love themselves. If one does not love themselves, one cannot offer unconditional love to others. Above all, instead of being fanatical with results and marks, when our children return home, one must close our technology, put away the Smartphone. When we see our child after a few hours, look them in their eyes and let them see the joy that fills our faces. Honestly inquire them "How was their day? What did they like about today?" Consequently, knowing that they are hungry and asking in-depth questions about tests, not evaluating the situation is a pathetic unconducive environment. Children need to realize that they matter to us as humans, not because of their GPA (Grade Point Average).
Mention to be made, content and fruitful people never went to state schools and college’s one never heard off. This is evident in our communities, which is a hard truth one must remove our own egos from the selfish equation of tyrannical checklist.
Parents must accept and embrace this hard truth and then realize that it is not the end of the world, for children not being educated in so-called big brand-name schools. The children’s childhood should not be lived as per a tyrannical checklist. When they get to college, whichever one it may be, they should go there on their own volition and fueled by their own desire, capable and ready to thrive in this competitive world. Admittedly, never ever treat your teenage children like little bonsai trees being captive in a solitary prison called home.
Nevertheless, carefully clip, prune and shape the children to be ideal humans, that might just be perfect enough to warrant them to lead the life of their desire. Youngsters are not bonsai trees, they are wildflowers of an unknown genus and class.
It is our responsibility to endow with a nourishing environment, strengthen them through chores and to love them. Hence, the children can love others and receive love. They must build a career that is up to them. Our responsibility is not to transform them to become what we desire, but to sustain them in becoming their glorious selves.
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