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REPERCUSSION OF COMPARING CHILD: DEROGATIVE, DEJECTED, DEVASTATED AND DESTROYED

Murali Mervic 96 Comments

REPERCUSSION OF COMPARING CHILD: DEROGATIVE, DEJECTED, DEVASTATED AND DESTROYED

We are least prepared to raise kids, the toughest and most fulfilling responsibility of parents around the world irrespective of their socioeconomic background.

Comparing a child with peers, siblings and relatives in a positive and creative way is not bad appalling. Subsequently, parents being competitive the upshot is unstable. Too often, competitive parents observe premature development as a sign of intelligence or a reflection of superior parenting, but it is neither. Each child has their own God given developmental pace and skills, being “ahead of schedule” is no indication that they will be a candidate for Mensa Membership (IQ of top two percent).

Parents comparing with siblings will create venom in aggrieved one over his own blood. Unknowing the parents are brooding the hatred between siblings without knowing the repercussion. One starts comparing each and every act of a child. Kids start developing their sense of self as toddler, when they see themselves through their parents’ eyes. Our tone of voice, body language and every expression of ours are meticulously absorbed by kids. Our words and actions as a parent affect their developing self-esteem more than anything else.

Avoid making loaded statements or using words as weapons. Comments like “What a stupid thing to do!” or “You act more like a baby than your little brother!” or “chase you out house” or “mind your Job” cause mental damage just as physical blows do.

Praising accomplishments, however small, will make them feel proud, letting kids do things independently will make them feel capable and strong, importantly avoid giving money. By contrast, belittling comments or comparing a child unfavourably with another will make kids feel worthless.

Development without competing will enable the child to grow in secured social environment. Know your child, simultaneously find a creative way to lead and deal them sensitively. Know your own needs and limitations as a parent. Show that your love is unconditional and be flexible and willing to adjust as per circumstances. Choose your words carefully and be compassionate. Let your kids know that everyone makes mistakes and in spite of that you still love them, even when you don’t accept their behaviour. Make communication a priority, subsequently be a good role model and let our actions manifest. Create quality time for your kids and set a limit rather immersed in Smartphone, be consistent with your discipline and lead them with pride. Let’s stop comparing children, avoid derogation, dejection, devastation and destruction of young minds.

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